QUOTE OF THE MONTH

'This non-stop recruitment drive at our expense has gone through a number of different phases. There was the great Aids scare, when no self-respecting council could bear to be without an army of HIV prevention workers. At one stage, I worked out there were more people in Britain earning a good living from Aids than were actually dying from it.

That was followed by the crazy multiculturalism obsession, which could be satisfied only by hiring thousands of equality and diversity commissars.

Today's driving force is the great global warming scam, entailing the recruitment of legions of eco-warriers and enviro-crime fighters, on salaries commensurate with their self-righteousness.

In between, we've had such lunacy as real nappy co-ordinators, tasked with encouraging women to use washable nappies instead of disposable - until someone worked out that all the detergent being used to wash dirty nappies was actually doing more harm to the environment than throwing them away.

The NHS is just as bad. For every doctor, nurse and ancillary worker doing a valuable job, there's a supernumerary cluttering up the offices. I've written about all sorts over the years - from condom commandos to advisers hired to address the very special needs of gay alcoholics.

In yesterday's Guardian, for instance, Nottinghamshire NHS was advertising for an assistant director of equality and human rights, salary up to £77,179 a year.

"Acting as our champions on equality, diversity and human rights, you will work in collaboration with our external partners to develop and co-ordinate strategic policies." After that, I lost the will to live.

But you have to ask why the NHS needs equalities and human rights "champions". We're talking about the NHS, not the United Nations. All most of us want from the health service is easy access to a GP and a dentist and fulfilment of the reasonable expectation that in the event of our having to go into hospital for a routine operation, we won't die from a superbug we have contracted on the ward.

Barnet Council, in North London, is desperately seeking a Head of Internal Audit and Ethical Governance, on £80,000 a year, plus the usual perks. How on earth have they managed without one all these years?

Back in Nottingham, the police are looking for a Performance, Partnership and Business Development Manager, just shy of £40,000 a year. The successful applicant will be responsible for "delivery of programme capabilities and business results and strategic development of a comprehensive ..." You get the gist.

Now you know what happens to all the money they save closing down police stations and taking policemen off the beat.

These are just three examples of utterly unnecessary spending on jobs which didn't exist until now and serve no real purpose. That's the point about most of the adverts in the Guardian - they're all new positions.

It's not just the social workers' bible either. Local papers are full of these recruitment ads every week. I could fill my column with daft job titles sent to me by exasperated readers, dismayed at the cavalier fashion in which their council taxes are frittered away.

None of these new public servants is providing anything most people would remotely consider to be a public service. Local government, in particular, is increasingly a conspiracy against the paying public, extracting ever more taxes in exchange for an ever-worsening level of provision.

They're more interested in dreaming up exciting new rules, fines and punishments and finding elaborate excuses for not doing what we pay them for - such as emptying the dustbins once a week.

Only this week, we learned that Guildford Council, in Surrey, is threatening to close down burger vans which don't offer "healthy eating options". What gives them the right to do that? It's none of their damn business what people eat.

Time was that I used to fun with some of the more insane jobs - lesbian self-defence instructors, transgender policy co-ordinators, nuclear-free zone inspectors.

Now I tend towards rage when the Guardian drops on the doormat, its news pages bringing more gloom about job losses in the private sector on page one, while the recruitment section promises a paradise of gold-plated, recession-proof public sector employment opportunities.'

Richard Littlejohn, writing in the Daily Mail.